I just don't understand.

My father constantly despairs at how much time I waste on Terry Pratchett novels, animé, Roman and Medieval mystery novels, and various other fluffy things. He thinks I'm wasting my potential and need to immerse myself in more intellectual pursuits (in other words, a typical dad).

Then the man goes and invites me to see "Wedding Crashers" with him. 'Nuff said.

Meanwhile...

In an effort to make my apartment seem more "homey," it has been suggested that I buy plants. Fine by me; plants are basically pets that are really super-easy to take care of. Just water every now and again, prune the dead stuff off a few times a year, and you're done. The problem? Cats. Cats like to chew on plants, and sometimes even eat them (like dogs, they use grass as an emetic when they're feeling nauseas). So, what's the point of spending a lot of money getting cool plants, only to come home and find them shredded all over the living room? None, of course. However, there is a way the cats, myself, and plants can peacefully coexist; like everything else, you just have to make sure you get the right "types" to mix together. The cats and I work well, so none of us are going. Though I like to eat plants, I easily distinguish between those grown for sustenance, and those grown for pleasure. So, as stated before, the problem lies between the vegetation and the feline world.

The solution? Cacti. Do I sound cruel? I would, if I owned dogs, but I own cats. See, cats aren't like dogs, who will eagerly shove their nose into anything that smells good. They will cautiously approach the object of their interest and delicately sniff it. Thus, they will encounter the spines without getting hurt and quickly realize cacti aren't a plant for chewing on. At most, they'll get a teensy little prick if they actually try to get around the spines. Also, because cacti generally rely on their spines for defense, I don't have to worry about my kitties actually poisoning themselves (the reason why I don't have poinsettias in December).

So, over last weekend, after wandering around Longwood Gardens, which is about 15 minutes from where I live (I really need to get a membership there; $60 for a year, which is a great deal), I bought an Old Man Cactus. Neat, huh?